She may be your little girl now, but if you do your job right, you’ll raise her to be a woman who is independent, one who knows right from wrong and how to stick to the values you taught her. And no greater test of those values will come, than when she begins to date, heaven forbid. While recently reading the book “Between Fathers & Daughters: Enriching and Rebuilding Your Adult Relationship,” by author and professor of adolescent and educational psychology at Wake Forest University, Dr. Linda Nielsen I came across these points to help teach your daughter to make wise choices and get the best out of her relationships with men.
Anger and Assertiveness. Teach your daughter that it’s a good thing for her to express her anger and to be assertive about her opinions and her needs. It may sound counter intuitive to a peaceful household, but let your daughter practice on you while she is growing up. Don’t withdraw from her when she is upset. Encouraging her to express herself will enhance her future relationships with the men in her life.
Be Herself. Teach your daughter to remain true to what she values. Show appreciation for her talents and interests and she will be less likely to try to change who she is to win a man’s love or approval.
Communication. Teach her to communicate directly with the men in her life. Share this lesson by not allowing her to communicate with you through her mother or others in the family.
Money. Teach her to become financially self-reliant so she grows up without believing that a man is the key to avoiding financial hardships or increasing her status. Try this: Good Grades + Educational Interests=Higher Earning Potential. Not needing a man for money will allow her freedom, confidence and the ability to make wise decisions about relationships. Decisions based on love not money or status.
Myths and misconceptions. Teach her to let go of the myths and misconceptions she has about men. Don’t let stereotypes limit the relationship. Teach her that men are willing to talk about personal issues, that we can be empathetic and nurturing and can communicate well, oh, and yes, men do love their children just as much as a woman.